You hold the key to creating balance in your life

Copyright 2006 Red Ladder, Inc. I often chuckle at how hard so many of us seem to be working to find the ever elusive balance that we seek. Some of you are probably personally convinced (and some days I am too!) that balance simply does not really exist. Perhaps you have told yourself that having balance is simply one of those urban legends. Sort of like the Loch Ness Monster, you've heard of it but never seen it. So what is balance? There are many definitions of balance. According to Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, one definition of balance means to bring into harmony or proportion. Another is to bring to a state or position of equipoise. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to note the word poise in the word equipoise and that certainly sounds like something I'd like more of. Wouldn't you? So, how do you get it? Simply put, you get balance by developing the ability to prioritize and focus on those things that are most important to you, and to let go of those things that aren't important to you. And, this requires that you have a personal definition of success, a clear understanding of your values, and a means for evaluating all of the demands on your time that you receive on a daily basis. You also need to define what balance looks like and feels like for you. And finally, you must stop comparing yourself to others! Posted next to my telephone are the top three strategic priorities by which I evaluate or screen all demands on my time. When a demand for my time comes in, I review it against these strategic priorities and then I make a choice as to what I should do. There are only three things that I can do with any demand on my time: 1. DO itplete what is requested of me. 2. DELEGATE it. Ask someone else to do it. 3. DISCARD it. Decline the request altogether. Like most women, you are probably very adept at doing what is requested of you. However, you could probably use lessons on delegating and saying no in the first place. So my challenge for you is this. Consciously practice delegating and saying no more often. Then, do something just for you. If this fits with your vision of balance, then you are on the right track. If not, then you have more work to do. Remember, you hold the key to balance in your life. If you select which door you open thoughtfully, you will find that balance can indeed be yours. And that's a good thing.

6 Tips to cope with isolation from one successful stay at home mother

Ask any woman who’s had a baby and they’ll tell you it is the most rewarding experience of their lives. However, after months and months of spending your entire day with an infant, you begin to feel as though you are losing touch with the adult world, particularly if you are accustomed to a fast-paced work life. Nowadays, many women put their careers first and wait until later in life to bear children. This transition from professional work to home life can be a surprisingly difficult transition. For most women, staying at home is about as different from their previous careers as you can imagine. Life at home can also be a shock because so many professional women never thought they’d end up there, couple that with the disappearance of the “extended family” and many stay-at-home-moms deal with feeling lonely. After losing their colleagues at work, women often feel friendless and alone as they get used to their new job at home. Unless an effort is made to get out and meet people, mothers at home face days on end with no one to talk to but young, uncommunicative children. Without regular adult interaction, stay-at-home mothers may also feel as though they are losing their edge. Others may sense their intellect is slipping away from a lack of use. In some cases, isolation can make mothers feel so psychologically depleted they find it hard to cope with anything. When you spend every waking moment of every day with your kids, the quantity of time you spend with them actually diminishes the quality of the time you get to share with them. I discovered that one profitable way to channel my energy was to start my own online business selling high-quality children’s clothing. I was amazed at how this process helped to keep my mind sharp which in turn improved the quality of time I spent with my children. After spending several months developing a website and locating a supplier Best Dressed Tots became a reality. Here are 6 Tips to Help Maintain Your Sanity: 1. Find a project to help channel some of your energy to keep your mind sharp. (This is the most important tip!) This will improve the quality of time you spend with your family. 2. Enroll into a course or class of interest. Taking a business class or seminar at your local college or community center can help sharpen your skills and provide the interaction you need to stay productive. Look into online options if getting out of the house is impossible. 3. Join a local gym or find a mother-toddler exercise class to help maintain your physical health. Exercise is crucial to your overall well being and will help break up the monotony of a long day home with the kids. 4. Stay connected by creating a blog. Today thousands of women write blogs that pivot on a variety of subjects. Blogging about your new experiences as a mother is a great way to express your thoughts and opinions. 5. Check into the events being held at your local library. Many local libraries offer a variety of classes, seminars, and shows for mothers and children to attend. You’ll be surprised at the range and quality of events your library may have available for free! 6. Occupy yourself with journal writing. This simple practice only requires a pencil and a notepad and will provide you with endless benefits.

Causes of public speaking phobia

According to World Book Online Research Encyclopedia, "Phobia is an unreasonable yet strong fear of a certain object, class of objects or a situation." People who suffer phobia have a compelling desire to avoid the object or situation that causes their stress. Phobia may be classified into two types: • Specific Phobia, such as fear of animals (i. e. Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders; Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things). • Social Phobia is an anxiety disorder where the sufferer fears being assessed adversely in front of a group. Thus, Public speaking phobia is an over-emphasized fear of speaking in front of a group. According to World Psychiatric Association (1995), Social Phobia affects one to 10 people at some stage of their lives. Sufferers experience dizziness, muscle tension, trembling, blushing and/or sweating, and even heart palpitations when exposed to the feared object or situation. Others do not manifest physical symptoms but they are overtly conscious of how others react to them. They also have a tendency to underestimate their capability to overcome the feared situation. Among the common effects of Social Phobia in a person are: • Unstable employment record • Have less or no friends • Being single • Having a low educational attainment Studies show that public speaking phobia, and most phobias, develop in middle or late childhood stage. It usually starts from an unpleasant experience like being humiliated in front of the class; this unpleasant experience gets stored in the child's memory and is brought up when faced with similar situations. Children who have been exposed to people with public speaking phobia, like their parents or friends, learn the phobia by hearing them. They immediately conclude that what they have heard of is true without actually verifying the facts. Research also shows that genetics also play an important role in developing phobias. It has a tendency to occur in families. Phobias are mostly likely to occur in identical twins, than in fraternal twins. Luckily, there are many ways to treat Phobia. • PERSONAL MOTIVATION. There are many self-help books that can help you overcome your public speaking phobia. Your desire to overcome your fear is the most important factor of treatment. • PROFESSIONAL TREATMENT. If self-treatment does not work for you, you can seek help from a professional. Exposure to therapy is a good example of this method, which focuses on the behavior instead of the thoughts of the sufferer. • Other kinds of treatment include: • Counseling - discussing your phobia with a professional. • Hypnosis • Medication - This method is used if the sufferer has other mental conditions that are affected by the phobia. The use of these drugs can only be used for a short period of time. Using medication alone cannot cure the phobia.

Get back on the playground

Copyright 2006 Mike Pniewski Did you ever wonder how you went from the kid who couldn't sit still, to the adult who can't get moving? I asked myself this recently when I took my 3-year-old daughter to the playground at a fast food restaurant. She loves playgrounds and so do I. At an almost frantic pace, she began to scale every inch of the equipment, and I surveyed the scene around me. What I saw were kids playing and parents either trying to wrangle their kids off the playground, or get their little ones to sit still and finish their food before they hit the playground. None of the children were sitting in a chair watching the action. They were either taking part in it or itching to. Some kids are shy and timid, of course, but the overwhelming instinct of children is to jump in and participate in any way possible, even at the expense of fueling their bodies. They seem to have no fear of looking weird or not fitting in, especially the youngest of them. So what happened to us adults? When did we become afraid? When did we shut off the kid in us and start to think too much? When did we decide we had to grow up? One of my favorite professors in college taught directing. An actor himself, he remarked one day that he hoped he'd never grow up, because your childlike instincts are what keep the joy and wonder in your work. That sense of play and make-believe is natural to any good actor and we'd better not lose it, he said. For actors, childishness is a best friend. Growing up is dangerous. It robs us of our freedom and the determination not to miss anything. It makes us fearful and doubtful and insecure. It makes us see new people as strangers instead of potential friends. Most importantly, it keeps us from living to our full potential. So what happened to us? I believe it was something called expectations -- more specifically, other people's expectations of us. When we're little, from birth to 3 or 4-years old, our only care in life is to have fun. Our only job is to be lovable and to love. Everything else is just play. What could be better? But then, as we get older, we start to have expectations put on us. We have to make our bed, we have to go to school, we have to finish our homework, wash the car, get a job, etc., etc. Then we get older and have our own families, career, responsibilities and debts. Not to mention the peer pressures that drive us to have the house or the car or the gadgets that make the best impression. Pretty soon our own sense of daring and wonder is lost in what we're "supposed to be." Worrying about what we're supposed to be suppresses the child in us, who has no doubt that his or her purpose on the planet is to have fun. Who said you couldn't live your entire life with that beautiful energy of daring and joy? Growing up shouldn't mean giving up our purest spirit. We shouldn't allow ourselves to be controlled by our fear of not living up to other people's expectations. Of course this doesn't mean you should ditch your commitments and responsibilities in favor of doing whatever feels good in the moment. What I'm encouraging you to do instead is to make choices that bring you joy and fulfillment. Choose a career that fills your soul as well as your wallet. Love your family and those around you and cherish all the relationships in your life. And remember to live life on your own terms. Live your own truth. When other people's expectations become the master of the choices you make, you give away the power to determine your own happiness. A fellow named Gil Bailie once said, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Make it your mission in life to fully come alive. You and the world will be better for it.